In my opinion apathy is a form of learned helplessness. It can often be the result of demoralizing experiences. For example: Launching a savings plan to assure your future independence, just to end up seeing your alcoholic father find and spend all the money again. Or deciding to give your studies 100%, just to end up losing your scholarship because of yet another change in visa regulations.
Such experiences leave you feeling “locked into” a reality that you never chose in the first place. Nothing you do seems to make a difference, so why do anything at all? It feels as though you are not the master of your own life and all the promises of a better future just prove to be “fake outs”.
Apathy, in a way, is a failure to react to a situation that needs to be grieved. It’s the desire to avoid acknowledging that, at the current moment in time, your life has limitations that make it much harder for you to achieve the same level of success and freedom as what you imagine is enjoyed by many other people. Here are a few tips on how not to allow apathy to become a permanent resident in your home:
1. Express your emotions
It’s not okay. What is happening to you is not okay. Being surrounded by people and circumstances that continuously disempower you is not okay. Grieve your loss. Grieve your reality. Express your emotions, and when you think that you are done, get some sleep. Tomorrow will be a new day. Maybe you could even talk to a friend.
2. Bring the focus back to you
Reclaim your focus. My way of achieving this is self-care. You may have a different way. Odds are, that you have over the years (or even lifetimes), created some negative energy cords with other people. To put it bluntly, they feed on you. Unable to generate sufficient reserves to meet their needs themselves, they consciously or unconsciously choose to tap into yours, disconnecting you from your center of power. Saying “no” seems like the easy answer, except in the cases where you genuinely care about your “energy vampires” and don’t want to see them harm themselves.
The only good advice here, in my opinion, is the one given by Dr. Joe Dispenza. You have to cancel out the “negative energy bonds” with interference. A stronger signal. You may think that you feel hopeless and disempowered because your money/career/time have been taken from you. But this is not truly the case. You feel disempowered because a significant amount of your mental energy has been stolen from you. Forget the physical things, what you NEED to do is to get your mental energy back. Do not abandon your “cherished vampires”, simply refuse to spend much time thinking about them.
Do you have a hobby that you are really excited about? Spend all your time obsessing over this hobby. Do you have a crush on someone? Go for it! Allow yourself to get infatuated. Is there a fear that you have been refusing to confront (like a fear of heights)? Now is the time.
Life will always throw curveballs at you. You power is in your reaction. Your power is in your focus. Refuse to feed negative situations and negative people. Be polite, of course, but energetically, let them know that they are not welcome and that they need to go look for other sources of “supply”.
Keep in mind that prior to giving up, such people will usually attempt to “raise the stakes” in order to get your attention back. They want you to take full responsibility for them and their lives, instead of standing up to the occasion themselves.
So act stupid and entitled. In other words, be them. Swallow your ego and desire to please, and let it be clear that you are simply too dumb/poor/addicted-to-video-games/selfish in order to deal with their challenges. But, of course, you wish them the best, because you love them so much.
3. Remember that you co-create everything
Know that your source of joy is within you. It is not a thing or an object. It is a part of your essence. It is your connection to the divine and eternally blissful, and nobody can take it away from you without your permission.
Don’t ask yourself: “Why did the academy not select me to participate in their contest?”
Ask instead: “Why did I refuse myself this opportunity through the academy?”
Everything that happens in our lives happens in response to the energy that we are putting out (consciously or not). If you find yourself facing a lot of closed doors, the questions beg themselves:
- “What door are you ignoring?”
- “Which one is it that you are refusing to open, but on some level believe is meant for you?”
- “Do you have limiting beliefs that prevent you from opening the door that could be meant for you?”
Set an intention for a specific outcome, and then let go of it. Allow for the possibility that it will not happen. Allow for the possibility that had it happened, it would have generated more harm than good. Find what to be grateful for in the moment (things that don’t generate resistance in you) and fixate on that.
4. Reinforce your boundaries
Last, but not least, try to bring down to a minimum your interaction with negative people and information. Do not ignore them completely (negative emotions are there to alert us to danger). Just minimise the amount of power you give these people and events over your reality.
If all of this sounds like a big ask right now, just start off by doing step one. Know that, by doing so, you are already on track. Grief, believe it or not, has a higher vibration than apathy.