You’re the Prize
A new video delving further into the importance of your self-concept by the Vitalitist. 2022
Cheers guys, I hope that all of you are doing really well and I just wanted to make a short video before I get back to all the Halloween prep to remind you that you are the prize.
You are the prize. Stop going through life thinking that someone else is the prize, someone else’s opinion, someone else’s approval, someone else’s way of seeing it, someone else being with you, someone else partnering with you, somebody else telling you what you want to hear, makes you the prize. None of that is true.
I don’t remember who was the first person who made that experiment, but they took a $100 bill and they said, “What is this worth?”, and the audience said it’s (the class maybe said that) it’s a $100 bill. And then they crumbled it and they said, “What is it worth now?” It was still a $100 bill! And then they stepped on it: It was still a $100 bill. And then they yelled at it, they insulted it, they told it that it has no value, and it kept being a $100 bill. And I really need you to understand that that is your ultimate strength that is a truth that is unbeatable and that is your ultimate power.
Your ultimate power is that once you work on your self-concept, once you identify yourself as the person that you want to be, as you identify yourself the person who brings value to the table (doesn’t just take value from the table) and you keep your focus on that value, once you decide that you are the prize, nobody can shake that, nobody can change that, nobody can steal that from you. If a person is angry and is in a bad mood and they yell at you, that doesn’t change your value. If a person doesn’t want to partner with you or give you funding for a project, that doesn’t change your value. If a friend wants to put you down to feel like they’re better than you by comparison, that doesn’t change your value or elevate your friend’s value. If anything, the opposite. If somebody rejects you romantically that doesn’t change your value. You choose you. You pick you. You identify you, and that is all you need. Because you don’t need for other people to confirm to you that you are valuable in order to be valuable. You inherently are. That’s what you are. Especially if you’ve worked on yourself.
Now, I don’t want you to be in excess, I don’t want you to be out of balance, I don’t want you to strut around the place acting like you’re the only good object in the whole world and everybody needs your validation and everybody needs to celebrate you, because that’s an excess. You don’t want to be in one excess where you need for somebody else to come in and to make you whole, to give you that unconditional mother’s love that you never received, to tell you that you’re the best baby in the whole world and all of these things, in order to feel like you have a purpose, your grades, you’re chosen, and you’re the best, you’re complete… That is an excess. That is an excess of dependency, an excess of neediness, an excess of lack of identity, an excess of people pleasing. And all of these things that are going to eventually lead to you being taken advantage of, you being taken for granted, you being abused (whether it’s emotionally or in some other way), and all of these unfavorable qualities.
But the other side is also an excess. You can have qualities that allow you to control the room, you can have qualities that allow you to dominate, to manipulate, other people, you can know how to press other people’s buttons, you can make other people feel good about themselves, engage in behaviors that serve you. And all of these are talents. Make no mistake. They can come in useful in certain situations. Being able to see yourself as such a good object can be favorable in a lot of places in the corporate world, but once it comes to your personal relationships that is not a recipe for happiness either. Because sooner or later you will find yourself constantly in a relationship with a child. With a child that sees at you, that looks at you and doesn’t see you, that looks at you and wants a mother, wants your unconditional love, constantly needy, wants your validation, wants your support, doesn’t have an identity, doesn’t see their value within themselves, and in that sense isn’t very good at being a partner to you, and walking by your side.
So, wherever you find yourself, if you find yourself constantly in every area of your life attracting kind of the same kind of people and it bothers you: Look at that person, look at these people, and identify in them the qualities that bother you and realize you don’t have enough of those. You don’t have enough of those. And the thing is, you might not want to take it to the extreme to which they took you (they’re attracted to you because they’re out of balance as well), so you might want to mitigate some of these qualities. But first you want to go ahead and you want to adopt them. You want to become more dominating, or you want to become more vulnerable, you want to become more catering and considerate of other people’s needs, or you want to become more self-assured and a little bit more self-absorbed and not to forget to be kind to yourself. Seek that balanc. Choose an identity. Work on yourself. Become that identity. And then realize the value that you bring to the table. Realize that anybody would be lucky to have you in any kind of role that you’re offering because you are the prize. And their moods, and their delusions, and their lies, and their emotional instabilities, and their needs, cannot change that.
And that is your ultimate power: They cannot take you off a pedestal on which you put yourself. Doesn’t mean they can’t be on their own pedestals, but nobody can take you off of yours unless you give them your permission. So don’t give them your permission. Remember your value. Remember that you don’t need somebody else to come in and to stand next to you in order to have value. If you feel like you do, you’re in excess. Work on your excess, choose an identity, and then go ahead and tell yourself “I’m the prize.”
All right guys, cheers, I’ll be talking to you soon and I wish you all a beautiful day. Bye.